Rugby Quotes

"If you can't take a punch, you should play table tennis." - Pierre Berbizier

​"I don't know why prop forwards play rugby." - Lionel Weston

"I'm still an amateur, of course, but I became rugby's first millionaire five years ago." - David Campese (1991)

[On female rugby teams] "Everybody thinks we should have moustaches and hairy arses, but in fact you could put us all on the cover of Vogue." - Helen Kirk (1987)

"This looks a good team on paper, let's see how it looks on grass." - Nigel Mellville

"He’s like a demented ferret up a wee drainpipe."- Bill McLaren

"My goodness, that wee ball's gone so high there'll be snow on it when it comes down." - Bill McLaren

"Condom Is Back In French Pack." - Headline in The Independent on Jean Condom

"Forwards are the gnarled and scarred creatures who have a propensity for running into and bleeding all over each other." - Peter Fitzsimmons

"We've lost seven of our last eight matches. Only team that we've beaten was Western Samoa. Good job we didn't play the whole of Samoa." - Gareth Davies

"Those props are as cunning as a bag o' weasels." - Bill McLaren

After an All Blacks surprise loss to the French in the 1999 Rugby World Cup: "The French are predictably unpredictable."  Andrew Mehrtens

The relationship between the Welsh and the English is based on trust and understanding. They don't trust us and we don't understand them.—Dudley Wood

Rugby is great. The players don't wear helmets or padding; they just beat the living daylights out of each other and then go for a beer. I love that.—Joe Theismann

In 1823, William Webb Ellis first picked up the ball in his arms and ran with it. And for the next 156 years forwards have been trying to work out why.—Sir Tasker Watkins (1979)

The whole point of rugby is that it is, first and foremost, a state of mind, a spirit.—Jean-Pierre Rives

The tactical difference between Association Football and Rugby with its varieties seems to be that in the former, the ball is the missile, in the latter, men are the missiles.—Alfred E. Crawley

"Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the centre of the city"—Oscar Wilde

"If I had been a winger, I might have been daydreaming and thinking about how to keep my kit clean for next week." - Bill Beaumont

"The first half is invariably much longer than the second. This is partly because of the late kick-off, but is also caused by the unfitness of the referee." - Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Rugby (1960)

"There is far too much talk about good ball and bad ball. In my opinion, good ball is when you have possession and bad ball is when the opposition have it." - Dick Jeeps

"Rugby may have many problems, but the gravest is undoubtedly that of the persistence of summer." - Chris Laidlaw

"The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game." - Derek Robinson

​"The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday." - Tom Davis

"I wasn't picked for any of the sports teams at school because I was half the size of everyone else, but now everyone assumes I must have been some sort of rugby player." - Will Poulter

"Rugby gave me a confidence. I was quite shy and relatively timid, but it gave me the confidence to be a little bit more out-going and back myself a bit more." - Brian O'Driscoll

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